Anger Management – Understanding Anger

.jpg photo of Angry Woman
Anger Management – Understanding Anger

Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control

Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind.

With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

Understanding Anger

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged. The feeling isn’t the problem—it’s what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.

If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast. But you have more control over your anger than you think. You can learn to express your emotions without hurting others—and when you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met.

Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get. And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.

Myths and Facts about Anger

Myth: I shouldn’t “hold in” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.

Fact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem.

Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.

Fact: True power doesn’t come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way.

Myth: I can’t help myself. Anger isn’t something you can control.

Fact: You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. And you can express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.

Myth: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.

Fact: Never getting angry is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.

Why anger management is important

You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect. But the truth is that anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success, and have a negative impact on the way people see you.

  • Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health. Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health. Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see the bigger picture, and enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your career. Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. What’s more, a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others. It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships. Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable—they never know what is going to set you off or what you will do. Explosive anger is especially damaging to children.

Some Dynamics of Anger

  1. We become more angry when we are stressed and body resources are down.
  2. We are rarely ever angry for the reasons we think.
  3. We are often angry when we didn’t get what we needed as a child.
  4. We often become angry when we see a trait in others we can’t stand in ourselves.
  5. Underneath many current angers are old disappointments, traumas, and triggers.
  6. Sometimes we get angry because we were hurt as a child.
  7. We get angry when a current event brings up an old unresolved situation from the past.
  8. We often feel strong emotion when a situation has a similar content, words or energy that we have felt before.

Source: helpguide.org

Gov. Scott Signs Bill to Let Children Secretly Tape Their Rapists

.jpg photo of Florida Governor
Florida Gov. Rick Scott

I don’t mind saying that the Laws this Country was founded upon, and put in place by Our ForeFathers to protect the innocent and hold the guilty accountable for their crimes, have been manipulated by a perverse group to the point where the guilty go free at the expense of the innocent.

To make this possible, Our Bill Of Rights was dissected, then each and every word analysed as to every possible meaning.  The end result casts a shadow of doubt on the motives of the innocent, and not only lets the guilty go free, but leaves the impression that they are the offended and injured party.

Florida  –  Child rape victims have legal permission to secretly record their rapists under legislation signed by Gov. Rick Scott one day after an ice cream truck driver who was serving a life sentence for sexually assaulting his stepdaughter was acquitted at a second trial.

The bill Scott signed Friday was a response to the Florida Supreme Court ordering a new trial for Richard McDade, who was convicted of repeatedly raping his stepdaughter when she was between 10 and 16. A judge during the first trial allowed recordings of conversations McDade had with his stepdaughter that she secretly recorded with an MP3 player hidden in her shirt.

But the Supreme Court ruled the recording was illegal and ordered a new trial last December. Florida prohibits conversations to be recorded or otherwise intercepted without the consent of both parties. The new law makes an exception for children who are victims or potential victims of rape and other violent acts that record their attackers. The law takes effect July 1.

McDade, 68, walked free Thursday after a Lee County jury that didn’t hear the recordings acquitted him. The Lee County state attorney’s office said the recordings wouldn’t have been allowed at the second trial even if the Legislature and Scott acted sooner because they were illegal at the time they were made.

Sexual abuse victim advocate Lauren Book said the bill signing was one good outcome of the case, though she was outraged at McDade’s acquittal.

“Nobody can or should feel good about this. The only silver lining is this won’t happen going forward,” said Book, who founded Lauren Kid’s, a nonprofit group that raises awareness about sexual abuse and seeks to prevent it. “It’s sort of sad that children need to be their own heroes sometimes, but that is what this bill does.”
Lee County Assistant state attorney Tyler Lovejoy, who prosecuted the McDade case, praised the new law.

“It is easy to stand behind legislation that protects children,” Lovejoy said. “Anytime that legislation opens the door for new, corroborative evidence to be admitted in the courtroom, it is both bold and inspiring. What is most exciting about today is the prospect that prosecutors have a new weapon to use against those who seek to harm children, and those same children can provide a new voice to those who still do not believe in monsters.”