Category Archives: Good Parenting

AMBER ALERT – San Antonio TX Called Off

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AMBER ALERT – San Antonio, Texas called off.

Missing Texas toddlers named in Amber Alert found safe

SAN ANTONIO, TX   –  An Amber Alert for missing twin toddlers who authorities fear were abducted in San Antonio was canceled Thursday afternoon after U.S. marshals found the twins safe.

Kinsley and Kolby Hernandez, 3, were found in Florida.

Details of their disappearance were not released.

The Amber Alert, issued just after midnight Thursday morning, said authorities believed the children were “in grave or immediate danger.”

Leslie Hernandez, 38, with whom the twins were believed to be, was in custody Thursday afternoon.

AMBER ALERT – San Antonio TX

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AMBER ALERT – San Antonio, Texas

AMBER ALERT:  Police searching for 2 abducted San Antonio children

SAN ANTONIO, TX  –  An Amber Alert has been issued for two children that police say were abducted in San Antonio.

Police are looking for Kinsley and Kolby Hernandez.  The 3-year-old children are believed to be with Leslie Hernandez, who police say is connected to their abduction.

Leslie is driving a silver 2010 Chevy Suburban with Texas license plate JGG-2909.

The children are both described as being Hispanic, standing at 3 foot 3, and weighing 38 pounds.

Leslie, 39, stands at 5 foot 8, weighs 215 pounds, has red/brown hair and brown eyes, and a yellow butterfly tattoo on her shoulder.

If you have seen them, you are asked to call police.

Five Wisconsin Newborns Seriously Injured

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Five infants suffered serious injuries in the newborn unit of a Wisconsin hospital.

Nurse suspended after 5 newborns injured
in hospital

MADISON, WI  –  Five infants suffered serious injuries including a fractured skull, rib and arm in the newborn unit of a Wisconsin hospital and the nurse who cared for them has been suspended, a federal agency said in a report after it inspected the hospital.

The Wisconsin State Journal reported that UnityPoint Health-Meriter hospital in Madison didn’t respond to the suspected abuse until early last month, when staff noticed two babies with bruises.  An internal investigation revealed two similar cases last year and one from January.  The identity of the suspended nurse has not been released.

Quoting a Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services report, the newspaper said the federal agency was so concerned about the hospital’s response that it threatened to cancel its Medicare contract with Meriter.

The agency told Meriter in a Feb. 23 letter that the situation “is so serious that it constitutes an immediate threat to patient health safety.”

Meriter spokeswoman Jessika Kastern said the hospital is cooperating with authorities and has implemented new safety measures.

According to the inspection report, staff in the 42-bed unit noticed bruising on the arm of an infant on Feb. 2.  A doctor thought it might be from the baby clutching wires or an IV device.  The next day, staff noticed bruising on the arm and wrist of another baby.  A doctor thought it might be from a tightly wrapped blanket.

On Feb. 4, staff saw bruising on the second baby’s face and three days after that they discovered a lump on the baby’s head.  A CT scan Feb. 8 showed the baby had skull and arm fractures.  The nurse was suspended.

The Madison police department is investigating.

Meriter told the agency that it has assigned a security guard to the newborn unit and is putting cameras in all rooms.  Each nurse will now care for two patients instead of three in the unit, which handles babies in intensive care.

Every State Should Have Sophies Law

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Sophie was abused by her babysitter at just four months old.

NKY mom ‘heartbroken’ by 3-year-old’s case pushes for child abuse registry

BELLEVUE, KY  –  A Northern Kentucky mother said cases like her daughter’s, and a case from last week in Butler County, are the reason she’s fighting to create a child abuse registry in Kentucky.

The new 2018 bill has been dubbed ‘Sophie and Kylie Jo’s Law’

She said her daughter was abused by her babysitter at just four months old.

Jennifer Diaz said her heart is broken for the family of Hannah Wesche.

Sheriff: 3-year-old ‘hanging on by a thread;’ babysitter charged with abuse

She worked with lawmakers in Kentucky last year to help create a child abuse registry, but the bill died.

Now, she is working with them again and hopes a new bill could make it a reality.

“Society needs to know who these horrible human beings are,” Diaz said.

Jennifer and her daughter, Sophie, have been sharing a story of abuse for years, hoping to save young ones from being hurt by someone they trust.

“We were fortunate that, you know, we’re survivors.  My child is a survivor,” Diaz said.

Sophie is in preschool these days, but she was four months old when her babysitter, Desiree Rankin, abused her, sending her to the hospital.

Rankin was convicted and sentenced in the case.

Jennifer said her heart broke when she saw 3-year-old Hannah’s story.

Investigators said Wesche was abused in Butler County on Thursday, to the point she isn’t expected to survive.

She’s currently in intensive care at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and her family says she is brain dead.

Hannah’s babysitter, Lindsay Partin, was arrested but is out of jail.

Jennifer said she prays for Hannah’s family.

“You fight, you fight and get that justice that child deserves and just keep fighting,” Diaz said.

Diaz and her daughter are fighting too, to stop babysitters who’ve been convicted in similar crimes from ever doing it again.

Last year, Diaz worked with lawmakers in Kentucky to help create a child abuser registry.

She testified in Frankfort, but the 2017 bill died.

Now, she’s working with lawmakers in the 2018 session.

She testified just last week, with Sophie by her side.

“I’ll go 100 times if I have to, you know, whatever it takes to pass this law, it’s going to get passed,” Jennifer said.

Jennifer said the registry would operate much like the sex offender registry, with information online.

She said there are some big hurdles ahead, including figuring out ways to pay for the registry everyone can agree on.

The new bill has been dubbed “Sophie and Kylie Jo’s Law,” in honor of the two girls who were abused by their babysitters.

It has now been referred to the House Rules Committee.

Raise A Well Behaved Child

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Raising a well-behaved Child – and not a brat.

Top 10 Parenting Pitfalls

Experts offer advice that will help you raise a well-behaved child – instead of a brat.
By Dulce Zamora

Parenting is no walk in the park, especially on the days when your little angel, whether he’s 6 or 16, decides to act like a demon.

If it’s the temper tantrum in the toy store over the latest video game, or the daily fight over math homework, or the food fight in a restaurant on Friday night, parents have a choice:  To react in a way that will only make matters worse when the bell rings for round two, or respond like the calm, cool, and collected parents we see on TV shows like Nanny 911  –  after weeks of live-in, televised therapy.

What is the secret to their success, other than public humiliation?

“Overall, with any scenario, the worst thing a parent can do that helps bratty behavior blossom is to not set clear expectations and not have consequences to a child’s behavior,” says Jenn Berman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Beverly Hills who specializes in family therapy.

The TV Toy

It’s Saturday morning, you’re doing laundry, the kids are watching their morning cartoons, and it happens:  Your middle child sees the toy of his dreams on TV, starts in with the begging, and doesn’t let up.

Brat-building response:  “A lot of kids see things on TV  –  games, food, or dolls –  and then they start nagging until they get it,” says Berman.  “If you run to the store to buy your child exactly what they want, then you’ve taught them that nagging is an effective tool for getting their way.”

Angel-building response:  “You can say, ‘It’s a cool toy.  Let me find out how much it is, and I can help you save your allowance for it,'” says Berman.  “You are teaching your child to work toward a goal  –  instead of giving in.  It helps the child learn about goals, saving money, and it’s a good response for both parent and child.”

The Bribes

You’re having your boss over for dinner on Friday night, and while you begged your sister to watch the kids for the evening, no such luck.  Is it time to start bribing them to be quiet with expensive sneakers or the latest handbag from Dolce & Gabbana?

Brat-building response:  “Parents often try to buy good behavior by getting their kids expensive gifts,” says Berman.  “And then they say, ‘I don’t understand why she isn’t better behaved?  I get her everything she wants!'” These cool gifts lose their meaning and the child feels entitled and less well behaved.”

Angel-building response:  “Allow the child the opportunity to earn what you give them, and set limits around their expectations,” says Berman.  “Tell them, ‘You can get one pair of shoes within this amount of money.’  Teach them early on how to make choices.”

The Sleepover

Her bags are packed and she’s ready to go to the sleepover, except for one thing:  She forgot to ask for your permission.

Brat-building behavior:  Even though she’s screaming bloody murder, if you let her get away with it once, she’ll do it again, and again and again.  “You’ve taught your child that screaming long enough will get her what she wants, and now you’ve created your own private hell,” Berman tells WebMD.

Angel-building behavior:  “As a parent, it is always considerate and helpful to let a child know your thinking, so your child knows why you don’t want her to go to the sleepover, so it doesn’t seem like you are being unreasonable,” says Berman.  “But if you shared your reasoning, and she keeps yelling, you have to stand your ground.”

The Divide and Conquer

You’ve been very clear and given your son a decisive NO when he asked, “Can I go to the birthday party, puh-lease?”  His tactic?  To ask dad.

Brat-building behavior:  “When a child gets ‘no’ from mom, and ‘yes’ from dad, it teaches them they can divide and conquer,” says Berman.  “They learn that they can divide their parents and fool them, and if they are manipulative enough, they can get what they want.”

Angel-building behavior:  “Enforce in advance,” says Berman.  “Tell a child that if you ask mom and get ‘no,’ and then you ask dad and get ‘yes,’ the ‘no’ still stands, and your punishment for asking us both is xyz.”

The Screaming in the Store

We’ve all seen it:  The screaming child in the toy store.  He wants the latest video game, and he’s not shutting up until he has it.

Brat-building response:  “If you give in, you teach your child that when he acts like a brat he can get what he wants,” says Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing:  Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.  “You’re reinforcing his bratty behavior.”

Angel-building response:  “There are two ways to approach it,” says Kindlon, who teaches child psychology at Harvard University.

First, plan ahead, and second, plan a response.

“Make a deal with them beforehand  –  you are going to buy them something and it’s only going to cost $5,” says Kindlon.  “Or tell them, ‘I’m going shopping for your cousin and this is not for you.’  Give them structure beforehand so they’re not caught off guard.  Then, if they still explode in the store, ignore them, say you are not going to listen anymore.  Then you leave the store and take them with you.”

The Car Ride

You have 300 miles in front of you when your youngest explodes in a temper tantrum that rivals the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.

Brat-building response:  “If you just start yelling and screaming at her, it’s not going to help,” Kindlon tells WebMD.  “And a major mistake most parents make is to give the child an ultimatum, like ‘If you keep this up you’re not going to watch TV when you get home.'”

But even though their tantrum continues ad nauseam, the TV goes on when the family gets home because the parent is beaten down.

“This teaches a child that the best way to get what they want is to behave like a brat,” says Kindlon.

Angel-building response:  “Plan ahead,” says Kindlon “Bring snacks, games, and things to keep them entertained in the car.  If that doesn’t work, help them understand the consequences of their behavior.  Again, with the ultimatum, if you use one, stick to it:  ‘If you don’t stop behaving this way, you don’t get to watch TV when you get home.'”

The Lack of Respect

Your kid just called you a name, or talked back, or showed you some all-around lack of what Aretha Franklin likes to call R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Brat-building response:  “If you sink to their level and use the same language back at them, you’re modeling bad behavior,” says Kindlon.  “You’re teaching them the wrong way to deal with something and someone when you’re upset.”

Angel-building response:  “Dock a kid fifty cents on their allowance when they use a tone of voice or an inappropriate word you don’t like,” says Kindlon. “Maintain your cool.  Show mature behavior, and give them consequences for their bad behavior.”

The Restaurant

You just sat down to dinner with your husband and three kids at a local restaurant when the outbursts start.

Brat-building behavior:  “What happens is there is talk of punishment and threats at the restaurant, like ‘I’m going to take way your play date on Sunday,’ or ‘No TV for a week,'” says Paul Donahue, PhD, director of Child Development Associates in Scarsdale, N.Y.  “Punishments don’t work as well as a rewards, or the threats are idle because the kid knows that the parent won’t take away their TV.”

Angel-building response:  “Before you get to the restaurant, tell your child what you expect in terms of behavior,” says Donahue.  “If your behavior is good, here is what privilege will come your way, whether its dessert at the restaurant, or that they get to watch a movie when they get home.”

Kids need to understand that their privileges are based on their behavior, explains Donahue.

While I’m not suggesting you bribe your kids or take them to Toys ‘R’ Us because they sit at the dinner table, they need to understand that the things they enjoy are privileges and they can have those things if they behave well,” says Donahue.  “Kids have to have an understanding that good behavior is expected, and if they behave well, good things will come their way.”

The Morning Routine

It’s hard enough for you to get out of bed at 6 a.m., let alone get your two kids out of bed. Should you let them sleep late, just this once?

Brat-building response:  “Sometimes kids come downstairs in the morning, they watch TV, they get around to eating their breakfast, they get dressed, the process gets delayed, mom or dad gets frustrated and angry, and maybe they make the bus, maybe the don’t,” says Donahue.  Better yet, the whole routine starts over again the next day.

Angel-building response:  “Kids shouldn’t come down and watch TV or play a video game first thing in the morning,” says Donahue.  “It’s like saying you get to have this fun experience before you get dressed, brush your teeth, or do your work.  You have to take care of your responsibilities first.”

The Homework

As your child gets older and wiser, his pile of homework grows  –  as does the frustration you feel in making sure he gets it all done.

Brat-building response:  “We want our kids to do well in school, and yet we are not clear that homework takes precedent over a play date or after-school activities,” says Donahue.  “So then the homework gets left until after dinner, and then it’s diminishing returns:  they’re tired, and it’s getting much more difficult to get them to do it, and they don’t have incentive to get it done.”

Angel-building response:  “There needs to be a reasonable structure for homework,” says Donahue.  “Say to your kids, ‘At 3 p.m. you get to play, but at 4 p.m., you sit down and do your homework.’  It’s especially important in most families that homework get done before dinner.  Set the structure in place so when they are older and they have more activities, they know they still need to get homework done before dinner.”

Parenting Tips

No matter the scenario, here are tips for dealing with parenting pitfalls:

Mean business.   “Speak to your child like you mean business, and send clear messages when you’re communicating with your kids,” says Donahue.

Stick to your guns.  “The toughest thing is to have endurance,” says Donahue. “Stick to your guns, even when the kids are whining and pushing your buttons. Kids know that if we have a history of not sticking to what we say, they’re going to push and push.  Have the endurance and the strength and the energy to keep up with them.”

Plan ahead.  “Parents have to do a better job of helping kids to anticipate the behavior that is expected of them beforehand,” Donahue tells WebMD. “When you’re in the middle of a situation, you’re busy and rushing and don’t think about it, and then things can get out of control.”

Take care of yourself.  “Sleep more, exercise, and take care of yourself,” says Donahue.  “Parenting is extremely exhausting work.”

Resource:  WebMD, Inc.