Category Archives: Love

Anger Management Pt-1 of 3

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Violence is out-of-control, and Domestic Violence can not be justified.

Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger
Under Control

Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights?  Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind.

With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

Understanding Anger

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad.  It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged.  The feeling isn’t the problem – it’s what you do with it that makes a difference.  Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.

If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast.  But you have more control over your anger than you think.  You can learn to express your emotions without hurting others – and when you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met.  Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get.  And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.

Myths and Facts about Anger

Myth:  I shouldn’t “hold in” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.

Fact:  While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better.  Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up.  In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem.

Myth:  Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.

Fact:  True power doesn’t come from bullying others.  People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints.  Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way.

Myth:  I can’t help myself. Anger isn’t something you can control.

Fact:  You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger.  And you can express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive.  Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.

Myth:  Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.

Fact:  Never getting angry is not a good goal.  Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how hard you try to suppress it.  Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage upset.  Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.

Why anger management is important

You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect.  But the truth is that anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success, and have a negative impact on the way people see you.

  • Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health.  Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health.  Chronic anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health.  Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see the bigger picture, and enjoy life.  It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your career.  Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy.  But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. What’s more, a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.
  • Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others.  It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships.  Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable – they never know what is going to set you off or what you will do.  Explosive anger is especially damaging to children.
Some Dynamics of Anger
  • We become more angry when we are stressed and body resources are down.
  • We are rarely ever angry for the reasons we think.
  • We are often angry when we didn’t get what we needed as a child.
  • We often become angry when we see a trait in others we can’t stand in ourselves.
  • Underneath many current angers are old disappointments, traumas, and triggers.
  • Sometimes we get angry because we were hurt as a child.
  • We get angry when a current event brings up an old unresolved situation from the past.
  • We often feel strong emotion when a situation has a similar content, words or energy that we have felt before.

Source:  helpguide.org

Building & Maintaining A Good Family

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Good Parents teach Children the kind of life GOD expects by example with genuine praise, guidance, and understanding while protecting them from anyone or thing emplanting indifference in their hearts toward GOD and what is right.

Building a Good Family

There are basic qualities and values needed to have and maintain a good family.

These qualities and values are:

  • Love
  • Honor, always truth and loyalty
  • Mutual Respect
  • Kindness
  • Communication
  • Consideration
  • Duty
  • Responsibility

The Future of this world

Children are the future of this world.  As a good parent it is your responsibility to teach your children from birth, the above qualities and values, as these are handed down from generation-to-generation, and prepares them to be good family members, good friends, good neighbors, good employees, good leaders, and good citizens.

Good caring parents teach by example, always remembering that genuine praise, guidance, and understanding are the mark of a good parent.  As your child grows, regular family quality time strengthens trust and mutual respect, forging a stronger family bond, where communication grows easier, and good memories are more easily made.

Maintaining A Good Family

The five “L’s” of a good, strong, family:

  1. Love is at the heart of the family.  All humans have the need to love and to be loved; the family is normally the place where love is expressed.  Love is the close personal blending of physical and mental togetherness.  It includes privacy, intimacy, sharing, belonging, and caring.  The atmosphere of real love is one of honesty, understanding, patience, and forgiveness. Such love does not happen automatically; it requires constant daily effort by each family member.  Loving families share activities and express a great deal of gratitude for one another.  Love takes time, affection, and a positive attitude.
  2. Learning – Families are where we learn values, skills, and behavior.  Strong families manage and control their learning experiences.  They establish a pattern of home life.  They select appropriate television programs.  They guide their children into the world outside the home.  They do not let social forces rule their family life.  They involve themselves in neighborhood, school, government, church, and business in ways that support their family values.  Strong families teach by example and learn through experience as they explain and execute their values.
  3. Loyalty – Strong families have a sense of loyalty and devotion toward family members.  The family sticks together.  They stand by each other during times of trouble.  They stand up for each other when attacked by someone outside the family.  Loyalty builds through sickness and health, want and good fortune, failure and success, and all the things the family faces.  The family is a place of shelter for individual family members.  In times of personal success or defeat, the family becomes a cheering section or a mourning bench.  They also learn a sense of give and take in the family, which helps prepare them for the necessary negotiations in other relationships.
  4. Laughter is good family medicine.  Humor is an escape valve for family tension.  Through laughter we learn to see ourselves honestly and objectively.  Building a strong family is serious business, but if taken too seriously, family life can become very tense.  Laughter balances our efforts and gives us a realistic view of things.  To be helpful, family laughter must be positive in nature.  Laughing together builds up a family.  Laughing at each other divides a family.  Families that learn to use laughter in a positive way can release tensions, gain a clearer view, and bond relationships.
  5. Leadership is essential.  Family members, usually the adults, must assume responsibility for leading the family.  If no one accepts this vital role, the family will weaken.  Each family needs its own special set of rules and guidelines.  These rules are based on the family members’ greatest understanding of one another.  The guidelines pass along from the adults to the children by example, with firmness and fairness.  Strong families can work together to establish their way of life, allowing children to have a voice in decision making and enforcing rules.  However, in the initial stages and in times of crisis, adult family members must get the family to work together.

Kindness Matters

Reblogged on WordPress.com

Source: Kindness Matters

At the end of the day, all that matters is how is how you lived your life.

Man is a social animal, each one as unique as each fingerprint is unique.

Each fish is unique as each animal is unique as each bird is unique.

No other creature on this earth finds joy and happiness in hurting or killing any other creature, except man.

.jpg photo of Ralph Waldo Emerson's words
Did You Make a Difference Today

At the end of the day, how can any man convince himself, much less believe, he brought honor to his name by hurting or killing any living creature out of hand.

But to believe any GOD would find honor in any act that is less than honorable, is the belief of a foolish man.

For what GOD settles for less than the best and purest….

AMERICA – Home Of The Free And The Brave

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AMERICA, Home Of The Free And The Brave

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

We hope everyone has had a very Happy Thanksgiving.

I have heard and read all kinds of negativity concerning Thanksgiving for the past several days, and I have one thing to say:  A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THAT THEIR FOREFATHERS FOUGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY IN ONE WAR OR THE OTHER.

Besides all of that, I have yet to find a perfect race of people.

Every race has good folks, down-on-their-luck folks, and the dregs of society.

I want to say THANK YOU to Our Veterans, Active Service Members, Law Enforcement, Fire Fighters. and other public servants, for all you do.

CHEERIOS RECALL

jpg. photo of Cheerios Cereal
1.8 million boxes of gluten-free Cheerios recalled

FDA says it received 125 complaints about gluten-free Cheerios before recall

General Mills said it knows how the gluten got into its flour and has taken steps to prevent it.

Federal food regulators said Tuesday they have received 125 reports of adverse health effects — mostly gastrointestinal problems — from consumers who ate gluten-free Cheerios.

After hearing of such complaints, General Mills Inc. on Monday recalled 1.8 million boxes nationwide of gluten-free Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios, concluding they inadvertently contained wheat, which contains gluten.

The company said Tuesday it has added another layer of testing at its cereal plants to ensure gluten contamination doesn’t occur again.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said in an e-mail that since mid-September, it has gotten 125 reports of “adverse events from/about consumers who ate Cheerios labeled gluten-free.”  The FDA said it’s “not aware of any reports of hospitalizations or deaths from the consumption of Cheerios labeled gluten-free.”

People with celiac disease, who are estimated to make up about 1 percent of the population, get sick from eating gluten, a protein that can lead to damage in their small intestine.  Another 6 to 7 percent of the population is believed to be allergic to wheat or have gluten sensitivity.  For the gluten-sensitive, ingesting gluten can cause gastrointestinal issues such as bloating, diarrhea and constipation.

General Mills said Monday that it began investigating its Cheerios production system after becoming aware of illness reports to the FDA, as well as fielding a couple of consumer complaints directly.

The voluntary recall includes four days of production of Cheerios and 13 days of production of Honey Nut Cheerios made during July at the company’s Lodi, Calif., plant.  Cheerios made at other General Mills plants aren’t subject to the recall.

The FDA said it tested 36 samples of Cheerios products labeled as gluten-free from different manufacturing facilities and lots.  One sample of Honey Nut Cheerios contained 43 parts per million of gluten.  The FDA limit for food labeled as gluten-free is 20 ppm.

General Mills, which is based in Golden Valley, launched gluten-free Cheerios in recent months as part of its biggest marketing offensive in years for cereals.  Cheerios is the nation’s biggest cereal brand, Honey Nut Cheerios is the top-selling U.S. cereal and gluten-free foods have become a hot trend in the packaged food industry.

The company said Monday the foul-up occurred when the Lodi plant lost rail service and its gluten-free flour was transferred from rail cars to trucks.

Cheerios are made primarily of oats, which naturally do not have gluten.  But the cereal manufacturing process can still let through small amounts of gluten.  General Mills has made a big investment in its plants and supply chain to ensure its gluten-free Cheerios are indeed gluten-free.

At its flour mill in Fridley, the company has built a multistory piece of equipment that sifts the oats it receives, shaking out traces of wheat and barley, which also contains gluten.  After the sifting, General Mills tests the oats to ensure they are gluten-free, said Kirstie Foster, a company spokeswoman.

The oats are then milled into flour, which is tested again before it is shipped from the Fridley plant to the company’s cereal factories, including the one in California.

General Mills said oat flour was contaminated when bulk rail cars full of the stuff were offloaded into bulk trucks, Foster said.  The bulk trucks were believed to recently have carried wheat, she said.

Since the oat flour had been tested twice at the Fridley mill, General Mills didn’t check the cereal itself as its rolled off the production line.  Now, General Mills is testing gluten-free finished products for gluten at all of its cereal plants, Foster said.