Category Archives: Ouality Time

Child Safety & Prevention Series #5

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Important things to consider before allowing your child to stay home without you.

Staying Home Alone

With everything parents have to juggle these days, the time may come when families have to leave a child home alone.

There are a number of important things to consider before allowing your child to stay home without you.

You should…

  • Assess your child.  Make sure he or she is mature enough to handle this responsibility.  Ask your child how he or she feels about being alone.
  • Define rules and expectations to help ensure your child maintains a daily routine while home alone.
  • Keep a list of numbers close to the telephone including those for you, other trusted adults, 911 and other emergency services.
  • Create practice situations and be sure your child understands what to do in specific emergencies such as a fire or loss of electricity.

Make sure your child knows…

  • His or her full name, address and telephone number along with your full name and how to reach you.
  • He or she should never open the door for someone unless that person is on a preapproved list of trusted adults you have provided.

Also make sure your child knows how to…

  • Contact 911 in case of an emergency.
  • Carry his or her key so it is hidden and secure.
  • Lock the door after entering and make sure the home is secure.
  • Tell callers you’re unavailable instead of saying he or she is home alone.
  • Check with you immediately upon returning home to let you know he or she has safely arrived.

For more information about child safety, visit MissingKids.com

NOTE:  This is not the property of NOT IN MY WORLD!!!!, we are a self-supporting information center for parents, families, and the public, to help all children, who are the future of our world; by raising awareness to Child Abuse, and it’s lifelong detrimental effects.

We want to say THANK YOU to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, and the U.S. Department of Justice for allowing us the use of so many resources to properly educate our staff, and also to pass along this valuable information and resources to parents, families, and the public.

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®
http://www.missingkids.com
1-800-THE-LOST® (1-800-843-5678)

Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
NSOPW
https://www.nsopw.gov

Your Child Needs You – Pt 5

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Your Child Needs YOU
BEFORE It Is Too Late

Legacy of Lies, Death, and Payola

This may well be your last chance, as a Parent, to be what your Child needs most, and that is a Good Parent that Loves, Protects, and Nurtures Their Child.  This can only be accomplished if you and your Child can effectively communicate.

Can you spell “abstinence”….

The average cost of an AIDS test is about $65.00.  While researching this, I noted more than one reference which stated that as many as three (3) tests were needed to confirm an absolute finding of Positive for HIV/AIDS.

There is a very good reason for me including this information:

  • Before ending his time in office, President Obama made it legal for a homosexual male to give blood.  On top of the time to test this blood given, you have a basic cost of one test, now you multiply time and cost times three (3).

Before I continue, I want you to know that Our Family will not accept blood from any source other than a group of close Friends or Family, with the exception of in the event of extreme emergency.

Our Country is inundated by an epidemic of STDs:  HIV/AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia, that, in truth is already a Pandemic.  The CDC, medical community, and Our Own Government are attempting to force-feed us, WE THE PEOPLE, tainted, watered down statistics, that only a Child might believe. One only has to read the “Call To Action” on syphilis to see through the DECEPTION.  However, this latest Call To Action on Gonorrhea will remove any doubt as to the severity of what “SOMEONE” is attempting to do to WE THE PEOPLE and Our Great Country, and I say this because after you read these, you will see, as I do, that this latest is more near a SCREAM AND RUN FOR COVER ATTITUDE.

I pray that Our Mighty, Loving, GOD protect us all.

Your Child Needs You – Pt 2

Thursday, May 4, 2017
CDC Releases ‘Call to Action’ to Reduce Syphilis

Your Child Needs You – Pt 3

Texas bathroom bill could expose birth certificate gender of transgender kids

CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND
PREVENTION

National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitus, STD, and TB Prevention
Division of STD Prevention

June 6, 2017

Dear Partners in Prevention,

Concerning developments reported last year suggest that gonorrhea may be beginning to outsmart our last recommended treatment.  Keeping an eye on antibiotic resistance has never been more important.  CDC has developed these new tools to assist in your efforts to make sure your communities are aware of the emerging threat of drug-resistant gonorrhea and to help them better understand the issue:

  • A NEW video animation was developed to help raise awareness about drug-resistant gonorrhea. It illustrates gonorrhea’s history of overpowering almost every drug ever used to treat it, the current battles we face as the bacterium evolve, and the dangers of this common infection becoming untreatable. Please share with your memberships and those who seek to educate community leaders and others about this topic.
  • The 2015 Gonococcal Isolate Surveillance Project (GISP) Profiles are also now available.  In addition to the national antimicrobial susceptibility results included in the 2015 STD Surveillance Report, the GISP Profiles provide a one-stop resource to assure you have the most up-to-date national and local CDC antimicrobial susceptibility data.  For more than 30 years, these data have helped those of us in public health ensure gonorrhea is successfully treated with the right drugs.

Thank you for your continued commitment to prevention and your efforts to keep drug-resistant gonorrhea a top public health priority.

Sincerely,

Gail Bolan, M.D. Director,
Division of STD Prevention
National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Your Child Needs You – Pt 4

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Your Child Needs YOU
BEFORE It Is Too Late

Unsupervised boys at Dallas County juvenile
detention center engaged in sex acts

DALLAS, TX  –  Boys locked up for sex offenses were left unsupervised at a Dallas County juvenile detention center long enough to engage in sexual acts with each other on at least two occasions.

The misconduct occurred while the youths were sleeping on mattresses on the floor of a multipurpose room at the Lyle B. Medlock treatment facility in southern Dallas.  The boys were required to sleep on the floor as a group “intermittently” from December through April because of severe understaffing, said Terry Smith, the county’s juvenile department director.

At least five boys were found to have engaged in sexual contact during that period — three boys in one instance and two in the other, Smith said.

“I’m madder than hell,” said Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price, who sits on the juvenile board.  “They’ve turned it into a free-for-all out there.  Nobody’s minding the store.”

About 28 boys, ages 13 to 17, are in a treatment program known as STARS at the facility because they were found to have committed sex offenses.

Staffers learned of the sexual incidents in April during routine polygraph tests that are part of the STARS program, Smith said.  The youths said the incidents occurred while they were housed on the multipurpose room floor several months earlier, Smith said.

At least one boy’s parents called Price’s office to complain about the sexual incidents.  At a juvenile board meeting last week, Price asked about what happened.

Medlock superintendent Marilyn Boss told Price that the sexual incidents involved “touching” but “no penetration.”

After reviewing investigative reports related to the incidents this week, Price said Boss’ characterization was false, although he declined to answer whether the contact did include penetration.  He said the reports aligned with the parents’ accounts.

“They lied publicly,” Price said.  “It was a lot more than touching.  It was sexual shenanigans.”

In addition to the sexual contact and sleeping on the floor — which could violate state standards — detained children have escaped from low-security county juvenile facilities as recently as Wednesday.

Two juveniles who’d been adjudicated for offenses ran from the cafeteria at the Youth Village on Wednesday, Smith said.  At least two escaped in April after they broke a window by throwing a drawer through it. One of the juveniles has yet to be found.

This is all evidence, Price said, that the juvenile department is plagued by mismanagement.

“The fact that staff had access to this kind of information and no heads have rolled is unacceptable,” he said.

Smith said she has taken steps to hold officers accountable for the lapses in supervision and to address the issues created by understaffing.  She recently held a job fair to boost recruitment.

“There are things we must improve upon, absolutely,” Smith said. She said she plans to move the boys in STARS to another lockup by the end of June, where each youth will sleep in his own cell.  Smith said she planned that move six months ago — before the allegations. Price expressed skepticism about that, sarcastically calling the decision a “eureka moment.”

Smith said the department is doing the best it can with a group of deeply troubled children.  None of the youths involved in the sexual incidents alleged any force or coercion, she said.  Regardless, juveniles in confinement aren’t legally able to give consent for sexual activity.

“Those kids have been abused and exposed to horrific situations themselves,” Smith said.  “Part of the problem with our sex offender kids is they don’t have appropriate ways to express themselves sexually because of their own sexual trauma history.  Those are the cycles we try to break.”

County Judge Clay Jenkins, who sits on the juvenile board, said he was “concerned” about the “failures” but stopped short of calling the department mismanaged.  All juvenile lockups struggle to prevent sexual contact between youths and none are “100 percent successful,” he said.

“There were clearly issues here that need to be corrected and improved on,” Jenkins said.  “I can’t take a jump from that, to saying that the entire juvenile system is headed in the wrong direction or there’s a leadership problem systemically.  But I can say that any time there’s sexual contact between children in confinement, that’s unacceptable.”

Smith said she was disappointed in the managers at Medlock, where STARS is housed, for not telling her about the severity of the understaffing there.  She was unaware that youths were sleeping on mattresses on the floor until Price brought it up at the public meeting last week.

Raises and hiring boosts at state Child Protective Services caused some of the staffing woes, Smith said, as juvenile officers jumped to jobs they were qualified for at higher pay.

She said she needs about 40 more employees and hopes to hire them by the end of June.  Exacerbating the staffing issue, she said, the number of teens being placed under Dallas County’s supervision has risen 14 percent this year.

The department has been careful to stay within the staffing ratios required by the state, which are one employee for every 12 juveniles during waking hours and one employee per 24 youths during sleeping hours, Smith said.

The county’s Juvenile Board is responsible for inspecting and certifying that its facilities are up to state standards to keep receiving state funding.  The board is made up of Price, Jenkins, five judges and a community member.  Last week, Price voted not to pass the Medlock center, but the other members did approve the building’s certification.

Price plans to file a complaint with the Texas Juvenile Justice Department asking the agency to investigate Dallas County’s problems.  Besides a lack of supervision, Price said the lockups have violated the standard that requires juveniles to sleep at least 6 inches above the floor.

After a sex abuse scandal roiled the TJJD in 2007, state lawmakers created the Office of the Independent Ombudsman to investigate state-run juvenile detentions.  Years of reforms have caused more youths to be held in county lockups closer to their homes rather than in remote rural detention centers.  But the ombudsman office is not staffed or mandated to keep tabs on county juvenile facilities, though watchdog groups say it should be.

The state pays $126 per day per youth housed at Medlock, which has the capacity for 96 juveniles.  That funding could be cut or suspended if state regulators find the lockup to be out of compliance and it fails to correct the problems.

There are signs that Medlock’s conditions are improving, at least in some ways.  In the first quarter of this year, Medlock logged five uses of physical restraints and zero instances of suicidal gestures or staff injuries.  That’s down compared with the first quarters of 2016 and 2015, when the facility logged more reportable incidents, including 18 and 38 uses of physical restraints, respectively.

Still, the issues coming to light are disturbing to observers.  They could cause youths to end up in worse shape than when they went in, said Lindsey Linder, juvenile justice policy attorney at the Texas Criminal Justice Coalition.  She called the sleeping on mattresses on the floor “dehumanizing.”

“This is horrific,” Linder said.  “The idea that we’re putting these kids in situations that is going to further perpetuate their sexual trauma is abhorrent. It should be common sense and obvious that we should do everything we can to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Talking To Your Child – Part 3 Of 3

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Love, Trust, Mutual Respect, and Quality Time make communication with your Child natural and easier.

Information For Parents And Guardians
Of Children

Sexual abuse is a difficult topic to discuss with others, especially children.  Conventional wisdom about what to say to children has changed in recent years and may be counterintuitive.

This section contains the latest information about the preventative discussions to have with your young children and teenagers, as well as what to do if you suspect he or she has been sexually abused.

Talking to Your Child if You Suspect That He or She Is Being Sexually Abused

Parents are surrounded by messages about child sexual abuse.  Talk shows and TV news warn parents about dangers on the Internet, at school, and at home.  However, parents do not get much advice on how to talk to their children if they are concerned that sexual abuse is occurring.

Talk to your child directly.

Pick your time and place carefully!

  • Have this conversation somewhere that your child feels comfortable.
  • DO NOT ask your child about child abuse in front of the person you think may be abusing the child!

Ask if anyone has been touching your child in ways that do not feel okay or that make him or her feel uncomfortable.

Know that sexual abuse can feel good to the victim, so asking your child if someone is hurting him or her may not get the information that you are looking for.

Follow up on whatever made you concerned.  If there was something your child said or did that made you concerned, ask about that.

Ask in a nonjudgmental way, and take care to avoid shaming your child as you ask questions.

  • “I” questions can be very helpful.  Rather than beginning your conversation by saying, “You (the child) did something/said something that made me worry…,” consider starting your inquiry with the word “I.”  For example: “I am concerned because I heard you say that you are not allowed to close the bathroom door.”
  • Make sure that your child knows that he or she is not in trouble, and that you are simply trying to gather more information.

Talk with your child about secrets.

  • Sometimes abusers will tell children that sexual abuse is a secret just between them.  They may ask the child to promise to keep it secret.
  • When you talk to your child, talk about times that it is okay not to keep a secret, even if he or she made a promise.

Build a trusting relationship with your child.

Let your child know that it is okay to come to you if someone is making him or her uncomfortable.

  • Be sure to follow up on any promises you make—if you tell your child that he or she can talk to you, be sure to make time for him or her when he or she does come to you!

All children should know that it’s okay to say “no” to touches that make them uncomfortable or if someone is touching them in ways that make them uncomfortable and that they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.

  • Let your child know that you will not get angry at him or her if he or she tells someone “no.”  Children are often afraid that they will get into trouble if they tell someone not to touch them.

Teach your child that some parts of his or her body are private.

  • Tell your child that if someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at them OR if someone tries to show the child his or her own private parts, your child should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
  • Let your child know that he or she will not be in trouble if he or she tells you about inappropriate touching.
  • Make sure to follow through on this if your child does tell you about inappropriate touching!  Try not to react with anger towards the child.

If you have reason to be concerned about sexual abuse, there may be other signs of sexual abuse as well.  This Website provides a list of warning sign for parents.  Additionally, RAINN’s Web site provides a comprehensive list of signs that indicate child sexual abuse.  As you talk to your child about sexual abuse, remember to focus on creating a safe place for your child.  Even if he or she does not tell you about sexual abuse at the time of the conversation, you are laying a foundation for future conversations.

Resources:

The U. S. Department of Justice
The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)
https://www.nsopw.gov

Talking To Your Child – Part 2 Of 3

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Love, Trust, Mutual Respect, and Quality Time make communication with your Child natural and easier.

Information For Parents And Guardians
Of Children

Sexual abuse is a difficult topic to discuss with others, especially children.  Conventional wisdom about what to say to children has changed in recent years and may be counterintuitive.

This section contains the latest information about the preventative discussions to have with your young children and teenagers, as well as what to do if you suspect he or she has been sexually abused.

Discussing Sexual Abuse With Teens

The discussion about sexuality and sexual abuse should start way before a child begins puberty.  The following tips are provided with the understanding that preventative discussions have occurred with your child years earlier.  If you have not discussed sexual abuse with your child, start today.

When it comes to sexual abuse, protecting teens is complicated. Teenagers seek relationships outside the family for friendship, security, and even advice.  In addition, they may be confused or embarrassed about their own developing sexuality, which makes communication difficult and protecting them nearly impossible.

Be realistic and educate yourself.

Know that most abusers are known by the victim.

Realize teens are learning about sex.  Often their sources may not be the best places to get the facts on sex.  Sources include their friends, pornography, or firsthand experiences.

Learn more so you can help and inform your child.

  • If your teen comes to you with a question and you respond by giving him or her a pamphlet of information, he or she may think you are not open to further conversation.
  • Educational pamphlets can be helpful, many times for you as a parent.  Creating open communication is a better way for teens to learn about sexuality and sexual abuse.

Do not put off discussions.

Before communication lines shut down or something happens, talk to your child.

Open the lines of communication and talk to your child about his or her personal rights and personal boundaries in an age-appropriate manner.

Help teens define their personal rights.

Believe it or not, many teens who get caught up in an inappropriate relationship with an adult (or even someone their own age who is an abuser) blame themselves.  They do not know what their personal rights are or what kind of behavior to expect from adults.  Teach your children that it is okay to say no and that they do not have to do anything they do not want to do.  Often, kids think they are supposed to respect their elders and be nice, so they go along with things that make them uncomfortable because they feel obligated.

Teens should understand that:

  • Their bodies are theirs.
  • Past permission does not obligate them to future activity.
  • They do not have to do anything they do not want to do.
  • They should trust their instincts.
  • It is not okay for them to engage in sexual behavior with adults.
  • It is not okay for adults to take pictures or videos of them in sexual positions or unclothed.
  • Regardless of how they dress or talk, it does not constitute permission.
  • Pornography is not an accurate depiction of real life.
  • They deserve to be spoken to with respect and never feel coerced.
  • Alcohol and drugs may make it hard for them to maintain their boundaries and can cloud their judgment.
  • Touching someone sexually while they are drunk is abuse.
  • Adults should not discuss their sexual fantasies or share pornography with minors.
  • No one has the right to touch them without their permission.

If they are in a relationship, they should also understand that:

  • Both parties respect each other’s personal rights and boundaries in a healthy relationship.
  • They should decline sexual relations with anyone who refuses to use proper protection.
  • Not everyone is having sex.  Many teens wait and that is perfectly okay.

Help them build up their self-esteem.

Often, low self-esteem is a pivotal factor in risky teen behavior. Teens who do not feel good about themselves or who are at odds with their family may turn to other adults for support.  This type of behavior is extremely dangerous; this is exactly what abusers are looking for.  They approach teens and take advantage of their low self-esteem, give gifts like liquor or drugs, further isolate them from the family, and attempt to become their ”friend.”  In addition, teens that do not have money are also often a target and may be bribed with gifts or money.

  • Encourage your teen to get involved in a hobby, sport, work, or art.
  • Teach your teen how to earn money legitimately without having to give up his or her pride or self-worth.
  • Teach your teen how to take care of himself or herself.
  • Empower your teen to be in control of his or her own life rather than feeling like a victim.
  • Give your teen responsibility.
  • Communicate how much you value his or her independence, accomplishments, and ability to be responsible, while letting him or her know you are supportive and available.

Need help?  Get help.

  • Know that it is never too late to seek help.
  • Talk to school administrators, counselors, teachers, and community outreach program representatives for assistance.
  • Affirm to yourself that abuse is something that needs to be stopped, not ignored.
  • Report abuse as soon as possible.  Silence protects the abuser and shows the child that abuse is acceptable and may convey that it is his or her fault.
  • Do not blame the child for the abuse.
  • Seek counseling for abused children to help alleviate confusion, anger, and possible self-esteem issues.
  • Seek counseling for you to learn how to get through the hurt and anger, and find ways to help your child and family connections heal.

Resources:

The U. S. Department of Justice
The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)
https://www.nsopw.gov