Category Archives: Ouality Time

Talking To Your Child – Part 2 Of 3

.jpg photo of communication between Parent and Child
Love, Trust, Mutual Respect, and Quality Time make communication with your Child natural and easier.

Information For Parents And Guardians
Of Children

Sexual abuse is a difficult topic to discuss with others, especially children.  Conventional wisdom about what to say to children has changed in recent years and may be counterintuitive.

This section contains the latest information about the preventative discussions to have with your young children and teenagers, as well as what to do if you suspect he or she has been sexually abused.

Discussing Sexual Abuse With Teens

The discussion about sexuality and sexual abuse should start way before a child begins puberty.  The following tips are provided with the understanding that preventative discussions have occurred with your child years earlier.  If you have not discussed sexual abuse with your child, start today.

When it comes to sexual abuse, protecting teens is complicated. Teenagers seek relationships outside the family for friendship, security, and even advice.  In addition, they may be confused or embarrassed about their own developing sexuality, which makes communication difficult and protecting them nearly impossible.

Be realistic and educate yourself.

Know that most abusers are known by the victim.

Realize teens are learning about sex.  Often their sources may not be the best places to get the facts on sex.  Sources include their friends, pornography, or firsthand experiences.

Learn more so you can help and inform your child.

  • If your teen comes to you with a question and you respond by giving him or her a pamphlet of information, he or she may think you are not open to further conversation.
  • Educational pamphlets can be helpful, many times for you as a parent.  Creating open communication is a better way for teens to learn about sexuality and sexual abuse.

Do not put off discussions.

Before communication lines shut down or something happens, talk to your child.

Open the lines of communication and talk to your child about his or her personal rights and personal boundaries in an age-appropriate manner.

Help teens define their personal rights.

Believe it or not, many teens who get caught up in an inappropriate relationship with an adult (or even someone their own age who is an abuser) blame themselves.  They do not know what their personal rights are or what kind of behavior to expect from adults.  Teach your children that it is okay to say no and that they do not have to do anything they do not want to do.  Often, kids think they are supposed to respect their elders and be nice, so they go along with things that make them uncomfortable because they feel obligated.

Teens should understand that:

  • Their bodies are theirs.
  • Past permission does not obligate them to future activity.
  • They do not have to do anything they do not want to do.
  • They should trust their instincts.
  • It is not okay for them to engage in sexual behavior with adults.
  • It is not okay for adults to take pictures or videos of them in sexual positions or unclothed.
  • Regardless of how they dress or talk, it does not constitute permission.
  • Pornography is not an accurate depiction of real life.
  • They deserve to be spoken to with respect and never feel coerced.
  • Alcohol and drugs may make it hard for them to maintain their boundaries and can cloud their judgment.
  • Touching someone sexually while they are drunk is abuse.
  • Adults should not discuss their sexual fantasies or share pornography with minors.
  • No one has the right to touch them without their permission.

If they are in a relationship, they should also understand that:

  • Both parties respect each other’s personal rights and boundaries in a healthy relationship.
  • They should decline sexual relations with anyone who refuses to use proper protection.
  • Not everyone is having sex.  Many teens wait and that is perfectly okay.

Help them build up their self-esteem.

Often, low self-esteem is a pivotal factor in risky teen behavior. Teens who do not feel good about themselves or who are at odds with their family may turn to other adults for support.  This type of behavior is extremely dangerous; this is exactly what abusers are looking for.  They approach teens and take advantage of their low self-esteem, give gifts like liquor or drugs, further isolate them from the family, and attempt to become their ”friend.”  In addition, teens that do not have money are also often a target and may be bribed with gifts or money.

  • Encourage your teen to get involved in a hobby, sport, work, or art.
  • Teach your teen how to earn money legitimately without having to give up his or her pride or self-worth.
  • Teach your teen how to take care of himself or herself.
  • Empower your teen to be in control of his or her own life rather than feeling like a victim.
  • Give your teen responsibility.
  • Communicate how much you value his or her independence, accomplishments, and ability to be responsible, while letting him or her know you are supportive and available.

Need help?  Get help.

  • Know that it is never too late to seek help.
  • Talk to school administrators, counselors, teachers, and community outreach program representatives for assistance.
  • Affirm to yourself that abuse is something that needs to be stopped, not ignored.
  • Report abuse as soon as possible.  Silence protects the abuser and shows the child that abuse is acceptable and may convey that it is his or her fault.
  • Do not blame the child for the abuse.
  • Seek counseling for abused children to help alleviate confusion, anger, and possible self-esteem issues.
  • Seek counseling for you to learn how to get through the hurt and anger, and find ways to help your child and family connections heal.

Resources:

The U. S. Department of Justice
The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)
https://www.nsopw.gov

Talking To Your Child – Part 1 Of 3

.jpg photo of Communication between parent and child
Love, Trust, Mutual Respect, and Quality Time make communication with your Child natural and easier.

Information For Parents And Guardians
Of Children

Sexual abuse is a difficult topic to discuss with others, especially children.  Conventional wisdom about what to say to children has changed in recent years and may be counterintuitive.

This section contains the latest information about the preventative discussions to have with your young children and teenagers, as well as what to do if you suspect he or she has been sexually abused.

Talking to Your Child About Sexual Abuse

When you empower your children to say “no” to unwanted touch and teach them that they can come to you with questions and concerns, you take critical steps to preventing child sexual abuse.

Talk to your children about sexuality and sexual abuse in age-appropriate terms.  Talking openly and directly about sexuality teaches children that it is okay to talk to you when they have questions.

Teach children the names of their body parts so that they have the language to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.

Teach children that some parts of their bodies are private.

  • Let children know that other people should not be touching or looking at their private parts unless they need to touch them to provide care.  If someone does need to touch them in those private areas, a parent or trusted caregiver should be there when it happens.
  • Tell children that if someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at them OR if someone tries to show them his or her own private parts, they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.

Teach your child boundaries and that it’s okay to say “no” to touches that make him or her uncomfortable or scared.

  • Teach your child how to say “no” when he or she is uncomfortable or scared and that he or she should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
  • Respect a child’s boundaries in play, teasing, and affection.
  • Assure your child that it is okay to get help, even if someone he or she cares about might be upset or embarrassed.
  • Know that telling a trusted adult can lead to a slightly embarrassing situation for you, your child, and those involved.
  • A child who then says he or she does not want to give a relative a hug or kiss can create tension.  Do not force the child to give the relative a hug or a kiss, because it is sending the wrong message to the child and teaches the child to ignore his or her confusing or uncomfortable feelings to the point where he or she does it anyway.  Work with your child to find ways to greet people that do not involve uncomfortable kinds of touch.

Talk openly about sexuality and sexual abuse to teach your child that these topics do not need to be “secret.”  Abusers will sometimes tell a child that the abuse should be kept a secret.  Let your child know that if someone is touching him or her or talking to him or her in ways that make him or her uncomfortable or scared, that it should not stay a secret.

  • Abusers rely on the child’s likelihood of not telling an adult.
  • Assure your child that he or she will not get into trouble if he or she tells you this kind of secret.

Do not try to put all this information into one big “talk” about sex.

  • Talking about sexuality and sexual abuse should be routine conversations.
  • Use everyday issues to begin conversations to help avoid a big “talk” about sex.

Be involved in your child’s life.

Be engaged in your child’s activities.

  • Ask your child about the people he or she goes to school with or plays with.
  • If your child is involved in sports, go to games and practices.  Get to know the other parents and coaches.
  • If your child is involved in after-school activities or day care, ask him or her what he or she did during the day.

Know the other adults that your child might talk to.

  • Children sometimes feel that they cannot talk to their parents.
  • Identify and tell your child who the other trusted adults are in his or her life.

Talk about the media and technology.

If your child watches a lot of television or plays video games, watch or play with him or her.

  • Ask him or her questions about technology you do not understand.
  • Many TV shows show sexual violence of different kinds.
  • Some video games allow the user to engage in sexual violence.
  • Discuss the Internet, the child’s surfing habits, and online safety tips.

Use examples from TV or games that you have watched or played together to start up conversations about sexuality and sexual abuse.

Be available.

Make time to spend with your child.

Let your child know that he or she can come to you if he or she has questions or if someone is talking to him or her in a way that makes him or her feel uncomfortable or scared.

  • Make time to talk to your child when he or she comes to you with concerns or questions.

Technology To Remember Your Child

.jpg photo of a Child Abuse graphic for vehicular Heat Stroke
Hot Vehicles Are Not Babysitters, SET A TASK!!!!

Vehicular Heat Stroke Claims Second Child
In 2017

A Child was lost in January, and this second was February 28, 2017,  in front of a daycare where his half-sister has worked for the last six months, in Brandon, Florida.

People point fingers to Law Makers, Car Manufacturers, and even mobile phone app developers.

I knew a lot of people text while driving, but I wanted to make a point here, so I checked out how many states have texting laws.

Currently, 46 states, D.C., Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands ban text messaging for all drivers.

ATTENTION!!!!
SMART PHONES DO MORE THAN TEXT

I can’t imagine anyone walking in front of a bus while texting or playing a game.

NOW HEAR THIS, all smart phones have an app, which is called CALENDAR, or one closely associated which handles your to-do list, or TASKS.

Tasks are really no different than texts, and I know everyone knows how to text.  I log over 1500 texts every month, but up until last summer when Blair Corbett, Ark of Hope for Children, and I were talking about this very thing, I had never set a TASK in my phone.

OK, your wife asks you to drop the baby off at “Mother’s Day Out” on your way to work tomorrow, which is 8:30am, because you clock-in at 9:00am sharp;

  1. Set Task in your phone to “Drop The Baby at Mother’s Day Out” for the proper date and time. (Make sure the NOTIFICATION is ON.)
  2. No matter where you are, when that alarm goes off, HIT THE SLEEPER, now you are probably saying “How do I hit the sleeper if I am driving”.  You use voice commands, OR you wait until you stop, or you pull into a 7-11 and park, kill your engine, select “SNOOZE”, buckle up, fire the motor back up and drive, because you have 5 minutes until SNOOZE.
  3. Continue to hit snooze until the Baby is safely at Mother’s Day Out, and you are back in your vehicle, ready to finish the drive to work.
  4. Now you can hit dismiss, and put a check mark in the little box, because the Baby is safely at Mother’s Day Out.

I can’t imagine anyone forgetting one of their Children.

Speaking of that, this is a very good article on the subject:

What kind of person leaves a child in a hot car to die?

 

A New Award, A New Page

.jpg photo of Blogger AwardDo Our Blogging Awards Help Abused Children?

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Have you ever been busy, and suddenly realized that something is right in front of you, although you know it wasn’t there earlier?

It is the same with these Awards, but with a big exception, we know who they come from, because they are Blessings.  But there is no one that is paid for the work we do, and there is no money accepted  for any reason.   Everything is handled by Our Circle, because this was Our way of giving back for all we have been given in this lifetime.

Our Circle gave NOT IN MY WORLD!!!! G+ Page to Google and the people because of Our like-values, which is love of Our Children,  Our Friends and Family, and Our Country.  There is also members of Our Circle from other Countries.   But we wanted to see those same values, Love, Trust, Respect, Honor, Duty, and Responsibility, continue being taught to every Child because those are the values every good family member, friend, neighbor, citizen, employee, and official should possess.

One last point, and that is a donation can be used for any number of things, an Award is more limited, but both are a solid or physical thing.  A Blessing in this case is a physical thing also, but it is like air, light, water, it is a flowing and felt thing.  Felt as in through the senses.  Also, SEEING is a sense, which brings us to Our Title, and sub-title:  “A New Award, A New Page”, and “Do Our Blogging Awards Help Abused Children?”

Our new page will be Our FAQ Page,  with the first entry being “Do Our Blogging Awards Help Abused Children?”, and I am going to dedicate it to a Young Man that has a very Good, Caring Heart for others around him and isn’t afraid of showing and expressing himself in that regard, but he is also a very smart individual that pursues knowledge like a very good Friend of mine.

Just so this Young Man hears it from me first, when I went by his page, I was reminded of the movie “Animal House” and his name happens to be Mr. Pintowski.  With that I will answer one of the questions I have for My Nominees:  ” How many days a week do you wake-up in a bad mood”?
Seldom, in my whole life have I woke-up in a bad mood, but very few times have I got out of bed if I were in a bad mood.  I love having fun and a good time, but I will stress that Frank and I have always been very driven.

Now, I give you the reason for Our latest Award, PLEASE stop by and visit Mr Pintowski at:

Pintowski’s Blog
Envisioning A Better World
https://pintowski.wordpress.com

The rules for The Sunshine Blogging Award are:

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Answer the 11 questions from your nominator
  • Nominate 11 bloggers and give them 11 questions to answer

My 11 Questions for The SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD:

1. What makes your day?
Waking up in time to watch the sunrise

2. Where is your inspiration from on your daily posts?
Making the world a better place for Children

3. What are your thoughts about your environment and neighborhood?
I have always been 1 with nature and the out doors, and if man doesn’t stop polluting the oceans, this earth cannot last much longer,

4. What one thing would you do to make the difference?
Anything within reason

5. What does life mean to you?
Life is sacred

6. What is your best sacrifice?
I have sacrificed nothing, anything this life has cost me, was long paid back more than double by the Man it made me.

7. Where else would you have been in life, if you had the power to do so?
Finished

8. Tell me what you know about ideology.
OK, if you are sure Mr. Pintowski.
I do not believe that there are any Children or working class people in the ideology of Our country as it stands now, except as after-thoughts or people dead in the ground.

9. Do people really change?
There are some that change things about themselves, but as far as someone who under-goes a near-complete transformation….  yes I believe it is possible that there have been a small number of people who might have completed a near-total make-over.

10. One thing you like about my blog.
I am going to list 2:  I like the stance you take, your stance is as every young person, with one difference, there is something else which is hard to put a label on, a little added “wisdom” or “outlook”  of one who has seen more or encountered more than one of this age.
Also, the way you interact with your readers is slightly different.

11. One thing you dislike about my posts.
I don’t always get to read your posts.

My 11 Nominations for The Sunshine Blogger Award:

http://aopinionatedman.com
http://gentlementalannie.com/
https://healmycomplexptsd.wordpress.com/
https://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com/
https://marcusampe.wordpress.com
https://adoptingjames.wordpress.com/
http://takingthemaskoff.com/about/
http://thegospelofbarney.com
http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com/
https://mamacravings.wordpress.com/
https://armsakimbobook.wordpress.com/

My 11 Questions for my Nominees

1. How many days a week do you wake-up in a bad mood?
2. What are 2 things wrong with the world of today? (1 to 3 word answers)
3. How strong a swimmer are you?
4. What kind of music is best?
5. When was the last course you took?
6. Do you work a regular job?
7. Television or fishing
8. Snowball fight or sun tanning
9. How many languages do you speak?
10. Subject of your next blog?
11. Your age when you fell in love the first time.

A NEW YEAR, A NEW AWARD

.jpg photo of Blogging AwardNOT IN MY WORLD!!!! has been nominated for the LIEBSTER AWARD!!!!

This is indeed a Blessing to us, and I want to say Thank You Jennifer for this nomination.   It is an Honor to introduce Jennifer, Blogger and the Motivator at “Motivation for today’s REALITY“.
https://jenmotivates12.wordpress.com/

Jennifer is a very special person, and we want her to know how much we appreciate this, just as we appreciate her being an important part of Our Circle on Google.

I want to say Thank You WordPress, for all you do for the Citizens of this Giant Metropolis;   you keep us moving forward year after year, with cutting edge, state of the art Themes, Widgets, and new, easier ways of doing the blogging that bloggers do, for bloggers like me and you.

NOT IN MY WORLD!!!! wants to say Thank You to all of the Citizens of the WordPress Metropolis.

And finally, to all of Our Faithful Followers who so diligently labor for all Our Children of this world:  Google+, WordPress, Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter, and LinkedIn:

NOW is the time to spread the word of what is visited upon Our Children every minute of every day, known now as “Child Maltreatment”, but in all reality is Neglect,  Shaken Baby Syndrome, Heat Stroke in locked cars, Physical Abuse and Physical Abuse ending in traumatic death, Mental Abuse, Malnourishment, Incest and Child Sexual Abuse, Child Sexual Slavery, Sexual Abuse of and DEATH OF INFANTS, and the fact that at least 10,000,000 Children 13 years of age and up will contract an STI or an STD or even more than 1 this year.  But that does not count the ones from BIRTH TO 13 YEARS OF AGE that simply is probably listed  as an oversight by the DHHS and the DPS, since there is no formal list and tainted number!!!!

Rules for The Liebster Award

  1. Make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated me and include the Liebster Award sticker in the post.
  2. Nominate 5-10 other bloggers and notify them of this in one of their posts.
  3. All nominated bloggers are to have less than 200 followers.
  4. Answer the 11 questions posed by your nominator and create 11 different questions for your nominees to answer.  Or, you can repeat the same questions.
  5. Copy these rules into your post.

My Nominations for The LIEBSTER AWARD:

1 – https://breakingsarah.wordpress.com/
2 – http://thegospelofbarney.com
3 – https://armorofgodfoundations.wordpress.com

4 – https://julianneleach.wordpress.com/
5 – http://middleme.net/
6 –http://anchorofpromise.com

Our Questions:

  1. Do you plan on blogging for a long time?
    ~No, I believe this atrocity should be taken care of within the next couple of months, but if not, I will be right here when my shift is finally done.
  2.  If you aren’t married yet, what season would you like to get married in?
    ~Any season but hunting season
  3.  If you haven’t had kids yet, what are some names you’d like to name your kids if you ever had any?
    ~If there were to be any more, I’ll put the wife on steroids, then have all male Children named YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE #1 thru # whatever, and they will be MAD MAX type PEDO HUNTERS
  4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
    ~It has never been built, but Carl’s Burgers will do
  5. Apple pie or Pumpkin?
    ~Pumpkin with whipped cream, then a big slice of warm Apple with vanilla ice cream.
  6. Think of your favorite TV show or movie. Who would you date in that TV show and or movie and why?
    ~A League of Their Own is my favorite civilized movie, and I suppose we could have a really tall cop-type stand-in.
  7. Are you more of a movie person or TV show person?
    ~If we are watching anything, that means women are involved, so anything is good.
  8.  What’s your favorite TV show of all time?
    ~”Follow Me Boys” with Kurt Russell
  9. What grade were you in/age were you when you got your first cell phone?
    ~That would be say 1991, when we knocked the bugz out of IBMs first Accessable PC which was months behind because of a software issue, and I had Voltalker experience, which was a product of AutoDesk, and the only talking software, so IBMs crew, lead by Frank my Brother, assisted my crew and we knocked it out in about a month, and your phones can thank ME AND FRANK, because that was the first version of Dragon.  The Cellular I had came with a carrying case the size of a small suitcase
  10. Is blogging all that you thought it would be? More?
    ~I had to be dumb as dirt, because I never dreamed 60-75% of every adult in America would most probably have sex with a Child.
  11. Would you rather travel around the world or live where you do now forever?
    ~There’s a place near the Great Barrier Reef I’d like to go, since I been diving basically a major part of my life, I think that is where the end of the rainbow is, but I would bring my prize back of course.

These are the questions for my nominees

1. If you had the resources, and were going to do 1 thing for someone(realistic), what would you do, and who for.
2. How old were you when you first got into blogging.
3. Have you ever posted from a restaurant.
4. Do you always leave a Tip.
5. When was the last time you wrote and mailed a letter.
6. Have you ever took an on-line course, or self-educated on-line.
7. Describe your blog in exactly 10 words.
8. Have you researched a post without using any electronics.
9. If you started a blog right now, what would you call it.
10. Who is your biggest fan.
11. What is the first thing you do when preparing to write a post.